THE PERFECT MOTHER CAUSE FRUSTRATION

i just want to let it out, ever you think it's be better you don't have family? ever you feel so depressed because you've perfect mother? ever you think it would be better if your mom abandoned you? throw you? ever you think you will be glad if you raise at orphanage? ever you think you want to kill your mother because you can't payback her kindness to you? you want to leave her because you feel you aren't match for her? you don't wanna stay by her side because you don't think other people she is your mom and rising their hope to you? cause she really perfect and amazing she can do everthing even it is the part the father must do. she always can handle any problem. she help other people to solve their problem and it is work out and other people praise her thankfull to her and respect her. there is anything she can't do. everything in her hand it would be succesfull it always come good opportunity event though she never experience about it. even people hate her they can't throw her out cause they need her skill and abilty.  if she don't like their way do the work she can throw them out. she very skillful and have such great abilty but she never arrogant she never look down other people. she always help people with whole her heart. she still giving her hand even thought that person ever do something bad to her. she is forgiviness. everyone admire her. she always can easily understand other people feeling she can easily read what other people thinking she read other people character so easly she know which want her friend snake,dog, lion or wolf. to have mother like her is so frustation so depressing it's stressfull because once the people found out you're her daughter they get high expectation they gaining hope to you. you can't feel free you must keep your mother image you must be mirror of her you can be yourself you can show true your self you must be pretend you're good child. fake your smiling built fake character built fake image. no matter how much you try to catch up with her push yourself the gap just became wide. ever you guys think if be better you born as orphan so you don't need to think the way you had to paid back her (mother) kindness. did you ever regret you born to your family? you can't feel thankfully to god to giving life to you because you must have the kind of mother, she too kind too perfect too great to amazing for daughter like you.why is it must be you to born as her daughter ? why not the other girl? ever you want to replace your position with the friend who you think it would be better if your mom have daughter like her? or i better have mom with bad attitude it would be easy to hate and leave her? if you have perfcet mother like me you hate her because you can't. you want to hate but can't do cause you know how much her sacrifice to raising your daughter like you. you know her pain as well. but because you're father she never satisfied with the side good of you have. she only can see the bad side of you that you get from your father. you try to change it but she can't see how much your effort.